Program Notes
Follow Lorenzo on Patreon.com
https://www.patreon.com/lorenzohagerty
Guest speaker: Various
Date this lecture was recorded: May 23, 2017
From the May 23, 2017 stop on the Blue-Dot tour, a psychedelic storytelling session in Charleston, South Carolina that served as the launch event for our friends at the Society for the Exploration of Altered States.
Society for the Exploration of Altered States
https://www.meetup.com/connectwithSEAS/
The Imperfectionists - San Francisco, California
Download a free copy of Lorenzo’s latest book
The Chronicles of Lorenzo - Volume 1
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Transcript
00:00:00 ►
Greetings from Cyberdelic Space.
00:00:19 ►
This is Lorenzo and I’m your host here in Psychedelic Salon 2.0.
00:00:24 ►
This is Lorenzo, and I’m your host here in Psychedelic Salon 2.0.
00:00:33 ►
And I’m pleased to begin today by thanking Samuel G., Jonathan P., and Joel L. for their PayPal donations,
00:00:39 ►
as well as Tom R. and his friend Christine, who sent a check, along with a kind note,
00:00:46 ►
and also to Morpheus, who sent what he called a small Bitcoin donation, but well, no Bitcoin donation is small. You see, I’ve been saving all of the Bitcoin donations that I’ve received over the
00:00:51 ►
years. So if a fellow salonner made a donation in Bitcoin back when it was only $900 a coin,
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well, that donation today is worth 10 times as much. It’s the gift that just keeps giving.
00:01:03 ►
So to Morpheus, Tom, and our other donors here in the
00:01:07 ►
salon, I thank you once again for helping to keep these podcasts from the salon coming your way each
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week. Well, almost every week. I’ve slipped up a few times in the past, but I’ll try to not miss
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any weeks again if I can help it. Now, during the month of April, five new supporters joined me in my Patreon endeavors,
00:01:27 ►
and these fine people are Sean M., Peter K., John M., Anna, and Tom B.
00:01:34 ►
And so far this month, Cohen H. has joined as well.
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And that brings my Patreon family to a total of 86 patrons
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who have joined together to support my writing projects and who
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have been the key in allowing my wife and I to remain in our current place of residence after
00:01:51 ►
our landlord raised our rent. So the simple truth is that we probably wouldn’t be here in the salon
00:01:57 ►
today without their help as well. And in addition to the financial support for the salon and for me
00:02:03 ►
personally, several of our other fellow salonners have sent me books to review for you.
00:02:08 ►
And while I receive books to review every once in a while,
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well, these last three have really captured my attention.
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However, I’m only able to read about one book a week,
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so it’s going to take a bit before I can report back to you about these books.
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One of them is about the Timothy
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Leary Archive. It’s called the Timothy Leary Project, and it was written by Jennifer Ulrich.
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And, well, it has a foreword by Dr. Leary’s son, Zach, who has also been a longtime supporter of
00:02:37 ►
the salon. And the preface is by Michael Horowitz. So I’ll be doing a complete podcast on this one
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in a few weeks once I can
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get an interview recorded with Dennis Berry and Bruce Dahmer, both of whom were instrumental in
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saving the Leary archive during the years before it was moved to the New York City library.
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Now the other two books I’m reading right now are The Technopagan Octopus Messiah,
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which was written by fellow salonner Ian Wynn,
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who is also the fellow salonner who sent the Terrence McKenna recordings
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that I’ll begin playing in my next podcast.
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And once I finish that novel, I’ll tell you more about it as well.
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And then this week, I received Dark Star Rising by Gary Lackman.
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And the subtitle of this book is Magic and Power in the Age of Trump.
00:03:27 ►
Well, normally I would have passed on that one because I try to keep politics out of these
00:03:32 ►
podcasts as much as possible, but since it was written by Gary Lachman, it, well, got my attention.
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As you know, if you’ve been a longtime listener here, I never really got into punk rock. The closest that I came
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was with the music of Blondie, who was what I think of as punk light. But since Gary Lachman
00:03:52 ►
was the original bass player in Blondie, well, that book also got my attention, and I’m already
00:03:58 ►
hooked on it. So I’ll be talking about that as well on a future podcast. As you can tell, I usually read more than one book at a time,
00:04:07 ►
because my attention span seems to be getting shorter as I get older.
00:04:12 ►
And now I’ve begun writing more than one book at a time.
00:04:17 ►
Well, several years ago, I started working on a sequel to the Genesis generation.
00:04:22 ►
But after a half a dozen or so drafts, I just got stuck.
00:04:26 ►
And two years ago, I finally put it up on the shelf and gave up on it. But then just a few
00:04:31 ►
weeks ago, I had one of those aha moments, and I figured out a better way to tell the stories that
00:04:37 ►
I’d been trying to tell in the sequel. And now it’s rolling along once again. Most likely, it’s
00:04:43 ►
going to take another year to finish it and have it edited.
00:04:46 ►
But in the meantime, I’m also continuing to work on the Chronicles series.
00:04:51 ►
And the next volume of the Chronicles should be finished by this fall.
00:04:55 ►
And before the sequel to the Genesis generation is finished,
00:04:59 ►
I plan on publishing that as well as one more volume of the Chronicles.
00:05:03 ►
And yes, I plan on continuing to
00:05:06 ►
publish these books directly into the public domain, so you’ll be able to get a PDF copy of
00:05:11 ►
them for free. In fact, right now, if you go to lorenzohaggerty.com, and that’s Haggerty with one
00:05:17 ►
G, but go to lorenzohaggerty.com slash free books, you’ll be able to download free copies of the
00:05:23 ►
Genesis Generation, the Chronicles of Loren download free copies of The Genesis Generation,
00:05:29 ►
The Chronicles of Lorenzo, The Spirit of the Internet, and Scattered Thoughts.
00:05:33 ►
And I’ve got a couple more that I plan on posting there in the future.
00:05:39 ►
As for the sequel to The Genesis Generation, I’m finally going to be able to do something that I’ve thought about for many years. I’m going to publish it one chapter at a time on Patreon.
00:05:46 ►
Now ever since learning about how some of the 19th century authors published one chapter of
00:05:51 ►
their new books at a time in various magazines, well it’s been something that I wanted to try.
00:05:56 ►
And since my supporters on Patreon are essentially paying me to write these books,
00:06:01 ►
in addition to posting their names in the front of the books, I’m also going to give them the first chance to read them, one chapter per week,
00:06:09 ►
just like we’re back in the 19th century. How’s that for trying to slow things down a bit?
00:06:15 ►
The other thing that I’ll continue to do for my patrons is to host a weekly conversation on Zoom.
00:06:21 ►
As you know, these past two months I opened up our weekly patron Zoom
00:06:26 ►
conferences to the public at large, but the fact is that it didn’t work out very well.
00:06:32 ►
A week ago, when I did a first Monday conference, some simple-minded children decided to disrupt us
00:06:38 ►
and made it impossible to have a conversation. So I’ve decided that for the time being, I’m only going to host these meetings for my Patreon supporters, with whom I’ve now enjoyed almost two dozen Monday evening conversations.
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And since there are only 86 supporters on Patreon right now, these weekly conversations are much easier to manage than they would be if I opened it up to the entire salon, where there are hundreds of thousands of fellow salonners.
00:07:06 ►
And for what it’s worth, all of my supporters on Patreon can participate in these online
00:07:11 ►
conversations, not just those who can afford a larger monthly donation. One dollar a month will
00:07:16 ►
get you into our interesting little group. And so far, the largest Monday night group that we’ve had
00:07:22 ►
was, well, it was only 10 people, and we’ve gotten
00:07:25 ►
to know one another quite well, but we would sure love to see some new faces and hear some new ideas.
00:07:31 ►
Maybe we’ll see you next Monday. And if you’re already one of my supporters on Patreon, I’ll
00:07:37 ►
send you the details through the Patreon email system. Well, I guess that I’ve taken more time
00:07:43 ►
than I should have before introducing today’s program.
00:07:46 ►
But since the program is a bit short, I’m going to be back after we listen to our fellow salonners in Charleston,
00:07:53 ►
and I’m going to play a couple songs for you.
00:07:56 ►
And now, here at long last, is Lex Pelger, who will introduce the storytelling session that we are about to join.
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the storytelling session that we are about to join.
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I’m Lex Pelger, and this is the Psychedelic Salon 2.0.
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Today I’m happy to bring you our storytelling stop in Charleston, South Carolina.
00:08:23 ►
It was a beautiful rainy night in a brewery overlooking the river, and the event was to kick off for the group, the Society for the Exploration of Altered States.
00:08:27 ►
I hope you enjoy.
00:08:32 ►
We are navigators of mare incognita, the unexplored sea, the uncharted waters of consciousness.
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Many merely skim the surface,
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few are plunged right in.
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For those who do,
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the vessels of choice are simply our own minds and bodies, of course.
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Though the tools of exploration may differ,
00:08:57 ►
flotation therapy, meditation, yoga,
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holotropic breathwork, entheogens, lucid and non-lucid dreams,
00:09:04 ►
active imagination, etc., etc.,
00:09:06 ►
our goals are similar. To induce or achieve an altered state of being, which allows us to reach
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the very depths of our psyche, sift through the heavy layers of detritus lying on its vast seabed,
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and unnerve gnosis, or knowledge,
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into who and what we are,
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at levels beyond the surface.
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To rediscover our true reality,
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our true nature,
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our true self.
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That this is the treasure we seek.
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But at some point we must resurface with this newfound trove.
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We must make the slow return home, or risk being eternally lost at sea.
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The journey back may be more treacherous than before, but we must make it.
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Upon our arrival, how might we make sense of this rich bounty before us?
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For it is often burdensome, painful and confusing.
00:10:08 ►
How will it enrich us in the days, months and years ahead?
00:10:13 ►
How do we integrate this once deeply held knowledge into our waking lives
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and then share it with others so they too may be enriched?
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And how shall we safely and courageously support them on their own
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voyages once they heed the call? We are about to begin a journey into the deep unknown.
00:10:33 ►
We’ll encounter these questions and others with great curiosity, humility, compassion,
00:10:39 ►
and awe through a series of group discussions, presentations, films, experiential activities, community collaborations, and more.
00:10:49 ►
So join us. We are all in this together.
00:11:07 ►
The title is Miss Carolina.
00:11:16 ►
It is almost dark when Miss Carolina of 78 drifts into Sadie’s with the autumn wind behind her.
00:11:23 ►
All innocence has been scraped away, leaving something that’s dark, fierce, mature. No longer queen of the old Tar Heel palmetto state,
00:11:28 ►
she has traded her evening gown for something less elegant.
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Her scuffed stilettos strike the tile floor
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as she heads for the booth only a few feet away.
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She slides to the center of the table with a sort of faded grace
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and places the napkin over her lap and waits.
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As if on cue, the old cronies at the nearby bar refill their drinks and flock to her the way photographers flock to their prized cover story.
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I should know. I used to be one of them.
00:12:01 ►
I wonder if she remembers that night we shared.
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I used to be one of them. I wonder if she remembers that night we shared.
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That night the press buzzed and hummed around her, flashing our tiny camera bulbs like dancing
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fireflies.
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A somebody surrounded by nobodies.
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I wonder if she remembers me.
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I sit and sip my gin and watch.
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I watch as a gent in blue draws close and whispers sweet profanities into her ear.
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Maybe he’s telling her that her eyes are like eclipsed moons.
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Her body is built like a thoroughbred horse.
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Her loins could topple nations.
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Maybe.
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Motivated by some primal instinct, I reach for my camera but discover a bottle in its place. Not wanting
00:12:46 ►
to miss such an opportunity, I free my fingers over her face and take the shot. Miss Carolina
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glances in my direction a second too long and I smile an inch too wide. To the dismay
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of her would-be suitors, she excuses herself and glides towards me. Do I know you from somewhere, she says. Nope,
00:13:08 ►
I say. Are you sure? I’m sure. Making herself comfortable, she shares my glass and pours a
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drink. Do you think I’m pretty, she says. Yes. Pretty enough to get paid? I pause for a second.
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That’s pretty enough to get paid?
00:13:24 ►
I pause for a second.
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Maybe?
00:13:30 ►
She smiles and places her hand on mine.
00:13:32 ►
And maybe that’s all she wants.
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Maybe that’s all we want.
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To be told that we’re beautiful, that we’re handsome, that we’re loved.
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Thank you. So.
00:13:52 ►
I was thrown from this earth into something completely unwarranted.
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I didn’t ask for it.
00:14:00 ►
I didn’t try for it.
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It was just something that happened to me.
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it. I didn’t try for it. It was just something that happened to me. So I just spent a lot of time thinking, meditating, not even meditating. Meditating is the wrong word because I just
00:14:16 ►
thought a lot. And I like to be relaxed and think and contemplate things in reality and what could be what is what isn’t and one day i’m sitting
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in my room my futon of course okay so it’s gonna sound bad i have black lights black light posters
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all these things incense and i’m listening to a radio broadcast called hearts of space i don’t know if anybody
00:14:47 ►
even knows what that is anymore um it’s quite old thank you somebody knows um and it’s more
00:14:55 ►
of a celestial ambient sort of psycho i mean it might be one tibetan bell for an hour. You don’t know. I mean, it really is just medicinal
00:15:05 ►
and auditory sort of realm.
00:15:08 ►
And I’m sitting there on my
00:15:10 ►
futon, completely
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aware of
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where I am at, what I’m doing,
00:15:16 ►
what I’m thinking, what I’m…
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Well, I’m not speaking, but
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if I wasn’t speaking, I would be aware of it.
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I, all of a sudden,
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uncompletely
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aware that
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I was going to catapult into the
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I don’t even know what to call it.
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I actually lifted off the seat off the planet into the atmosphere,
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into the stratosphere,
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into the galaxy.
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I was literally
00:15:57 ►
transported into a wormhole.
00:16:00 ►
Sitting there on my futon, perfectly aware of where I was,
00:16:04 ►
completely unobstructed from thought.
00:16:08 ►
I knew I was sitting there. I knew I was in my room.
00:16:11 ►
I knew I was listening to this music.
00:16:13 ►
I knew that I was there amongst my things of this earth
00:16:17 ►
and of this sound and smells and all these things.
00:16:22 ►
However, I was completely 100% in control of where I was going. How does this happen?
00:16:30 ►
It doesn’t happen easily because it’s only happened once
00:16:34 ►
all right, so I
00:16:37 ►
Push harder and harder and harder and harder and harder
00:16:41 ►
To push I don’t you know, I know what I’m pushing towards
00:16:44 ►
I’m literally trying to just go as far as I know what I’m pushing towards.
00:16:47 ►
I’m literally trying to just go as far as I can while I have the opportunity to.
00:16:49 ►
While I’m in control of it.
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Because as I lose control of it,
00:16:53 ►
I notice that I start to gain awareness
00:16:56 ►
of my physical being back
00:16:58 ►
wherever it is that I started.
00:17:01 ►
Because at this point,
00:17:02 ►
I’m not really sure where I started.
00:17:04 ►
And as I push further and further and further,
00:17:08 ►
things become more bright and wonderful and grandiosis and crazy.
00:17:14 ►
And then as a matter of like thought,
00:17:20 ►
it took me what felt like an eternity to get there.
00:17:24 ►
I’m literally sitting right back in my seat
00:17:26 ►
I’m back where I was
00:17:32 ►
back where I started
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100% aware of I spent the last
00:17:36 ►
day
00:17:41 ►
exploring the universe
00:17:43 ►
however, I ended up back in my seat seconds from where I started day exploring the universe. However,
00:17:46 ►
I ended up back in my seat seconds from where I started.
00:17:50 ►
Completely
00:17:51 ►
unaware of where I was
00:17:53 ►
and how things were happening.
00:17:57 ►
And still to this day,
00:17:58 ►
I question Jesus.
00:18:00 ►
I question a lot.
00:18:01 ►
So,
00:18:03 ►
I don’t know.
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Any questions?
00:18:06 ►
I have many.
00:18:10 ►
I have slinky dreams, I call them,
00:18:15 ►
where I actually fall asleep and just slinky off into oblivion.
00:18:19 ►
But, yeah, no, not like that.
00:18:21 ►
But no, not like that.
00:18:32 ►
Like nothing on the level of 100% aware of where I was and what I was doing.
00:18:40 ►
And my duality of spaces where my physical being was and where my spiritual being was.
00:18:42 ►
That was the big disconnect. And that has only happened once in my life.
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That was the big disconnect.
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And that has only happened once in my life.
00:18:50 ►
And no amount of searching that I’ve done has led me back there.
00:18:54 ►
I hate to say it, but one day I will find it.
00:18:58 ►
So do you remember specifically the music you learned?
00:19:01 ►
No, I wish I did.
00:19:07 ►
However, I will say that if you go and find Hearts of Space,
00:19:11 ►
it took me, I’ve searched for it for a very long time.
00:19:14 ►
I actually finally found it within the last year again.
00:19:20 ►
It used to be on NPR, or one of the public radio stations, along with another radio broadcast.
00:19:25 ►
What was it called?
00:19:27 ►
What’s that?
00:19:31 ►
Good Rock, Right Gate?
00:19:32 ►
This is
00:19:34 ►
entirely different.
00:19:36 ►
This is like…
00:19:37 ►
Anybody remember New Age?
00:19:39 ►
New Age came out.
00:19:42 ►
New Age is one of those
00:19:44 ►
beings that
00:19:46 ►
Yeah, they did, they did.
00:19:53 ►
There’s actually a radio broadcast that comes on NPR right now
00:19:56 ►
and here it comes on all of the time. It’s
00:19:59 ►
Echoes. Yes, she
00:20:04 ►
got it. It used to be that Echoes. Yes, she got it.
00:20:09 ►
It used to be that Echoes came on a couple nights a week and then Hearts of Space was that once a week thing. And Hearts of Space, in my opinion,
00:20:14 ►
was the actual meditative.
00:20:17 ►
If you could actually do that, I was worried.
00:20:20 ►
Hearts of Space, what’s that?
00:20:23 ►
Oh, believe me, I don’t know. And it’s out there. So anyway,
00:20:29 ►
I’m going to hand it off to Lex.
00:20:42 ►
Hey guys, my name is Raven, and I’m here today to talk about my first ayahuasca experience.
00:20:49 ►
I’d seen a National Geographic episode on TV, maybe not unlike a lot of other people who have found this thing.
00:20:57 ►
And I thought it was crazy, yes, what are these people doing, oh my goodness.
00:21:02 ►
But I was so curious, So I watched it again.
00:21:05 ►
It scared the crap out of me. And this time
00:21:07 ►
I took a deep breath.
00:21:09 ►
And I decided to
00:21:11 ►
go down. And I sort of planned my trip.
00:21:13 ►
And I did a lot of research. Thank goodness.
00:21:16 ►
Come to that later.
00:21:19 ►
But
00:21:19 ►
yes, I went down. I stayed with a shaman
00:21:21 ►
that was…
00:21:22 ►
Thank you. That was one of the… Thank you. That’s much better. Yes. So I went down and stayed with a shaman that was, thank you, that was one of the, thank you, that’s much better, yes.
00:21:28 ►
So I went down to Iquitos, Peru in 2012, early 2012, and I stayed with a shaman that had been on NPR,
00:21:37 ►
and, you know, I expected he’d at least, you know, tell me when the ceremony was going to start.
00:21:42 ►
I didn’t even know when the ceremony was starting, I’m going to tell.
00:21:45 ►
But very nice guy. But what I learned from that trip,
00:21:50 ►
big trip, was that thankfully, yes, I did that research.
00:21:55 ►
There were medications and things that I should be taking with ayahuasca. And also I
00:21:59 ►
built a relationship with ayahuasca before I went down. So it was just myself and the plant
00:22:04 ►
spirit. And thankfully I did that because the shaman wasn’t available he
00:22:10 ►
was just you know sort of sound like gossiping maybe with like the local
00:22:13 ►
Peruvians or figuring out what’s going on like asking the spirits but but it
00:22:19 ►
didn’t matter because that already died and all these things so so I wasn’t even
00:22:24 ►
there anymore yes so the first thing that happened whenever and all these things. So I wasn’t even there anymore.
00:22:25 ►
So the first thing that happened, it was about five to ten minutes it seems.
00:22:30 ►
I don’t know that this was pure ayahuasca from future experiences and seeing it.
00:22:36 ►
But in this experience, I mean it was ayahuasca. They add add mixtures like a common one is called towing or rugmansia,
00:22:47 ►
datura. We grow it here in South Carolina. It’s very dangerous and it’s in larger doses so
00:22:54 ►
it’s kind of like, yeah it’s a very small window for safety. Thankfully, I don’t know, everything
00:23:01 ►
went well. Everything went well. I just died. First thing, I died, and I could feel the maggots and the ants, you know,
00:23:09 ►
naturally cleansing my bones.
00:23:12 ►
Before that, I want to say, I started with the intention of,
00:23:15 ►
how do I get rid of this existential anxiety as an intention, you know,
00:23:19 ►
going in and planning.
00:23:21 ►
So it said die.
00:23:23 ►
And that was immediate, and it was natural and it was
00:23:25 ►
beautiful to me but I think it was more because I was able to let go of any
00:23:31 ►
expectations and I think that’s really important before you go into these
00:23:35 ►
heavy, you don’t know what’s coming, you know, it’s just that you’re going on this ride and
00:23:40 ►
you’ve got to just take the ride and, you know, take it for what it is and know you’re going to get back off.
00:23:46 ►
It’s going to be okay, yes.
00:23:49 ►
So, yeah, this beautiful death and, yeah, an accident.
00:23:53 ►
When I left, I had this objective feeling of leaving my body
00:23:55 ►
and then I could see the body from above and I was covered in serpent.
00:24:01 ►
It took the form of my body after and then I was gone.
00:24:08 ►
And beautiful things happened I got to visit with or my mom and my brother they came to visit me and um you know they passed on and they
00:24:15 ►
let me know that they’re in a good place and I kind of already felt that so maybe that was in
00:24:19 ►
there somewhere I don’t know but they came and visited me and it doesn’t matter. And it was beautiful. They were all in this void. You couldn’t see where they were.
00:24:29 ►
It was just like these 2D images of their faces.
00:24:32 ►
But they were speaking to me, but just without words.
00:24:35 ►
But I didn’t think about, you know, I didn’t think that was coming during my trip.
00:24:41 ►
I didn’t know what was coming. I don’t know. I just kind of went in.
00:24:44 ►
And then I experimented with things that I’d read about
00:24:48 ►
and one was, you know, healing your family members
00:24:53 ►
or, you know, somebody had written something about
00:24:57 ►
sending snakes down, and I did that during my trip
00:25:01 ►
I sent snakes down into my aunt’s spine
00:25:04 ►
thinking that I was healing her, she needed help.
00:25:07 ►
But I also knew she was terrified of snakes, like that’s her biggest fear.
00:25:12 ►
And so I apologized while I was doing it, and I thought I was helping her.
00:25:16 ►
I could see how she was sleeping with her husband, with her legs over him.
00:25:22 ►
And so I asked the next day if they remembered anything
00:25:25 ►
around that time I didn’t know what time it was and she didn’t remember anything
00:25:31 ►
she takes really strong epilepsy medicine and but she had the worst
00:25:37 ►
nightmares of her life her husband said and she has pretty bad nightmares pretty big what was
00:25:42 ►
very interesting from this is that, and I can say this
00:25:46 ►
here in South Carolina, the good old boy,
00:25:48 ►
her husband, nobody knew
00:25:50 ►
what that was in Prague.
00:25:53 ►
So he’s a good old boy,
00:25:54 ►
you know, he didn’t know a whole lot about
00:25:56 ►
other cultures and things.
00:25:58 ►
But what he described was
00:26:00 ►
a recurring dream
00:26:01 ►
where this native
00:26:04 ►
woman would come.
00:26:06 ►
No, she wouldn’t come.
00:26:07 ►
She was just there.
00:26:08 ►
He came into her home
00:26:09 ►
over and over every night.
00:26:11 ►
He would walk in
00:26:12 ►
and there was a naked,
00:26:14 ►
well, indigenous woman.
00:26:16 ►
He didn’t know.
00:26:16 ►
He said, not like our Indians.
00:26:19 ►
And I was like, okay,
00:26:20 ►
well, maybe this is Peruvian,
00:26:22 ►
like a different bone structure and things.
00:26:25 ►
And he said he just felt this warmth.
00:26:26 ►
And that’s what you feel on the ayahuasca, this warmth,
00:26:29 ►
you know, like the embrace.
00:26:33 ►
And, yeah, that was his dream, just recurring.
00:26:36 ►
He would just get in the bed, see the naked woman,
00:26:38 ►
get in the bed, recurring.
00:26:39 ►
It shouldn’t be too bad.
00:26:40 ►
Very nice dream, I think.
00:26:42 ►
I don’t know about that warm feeling.
00:26:44 ►
But they said, never do that
00:26:45 ►
voodoo SHIT
00:26:47 ►
stuff again.
00:26:50 ►
And, yeah.
00:26:53 ►
So,
00:26:53 ►
that happened, and
00:26:55 ►
yeah, just basically
00:26:57 ►
from,
00:26:59 ►
yeah, from there,
00:27:02 ►
I mean, it was a really beautiful experience.
00:27:04 ►
It’s something i feel i might
00:27:05 ►
still be integrating um you know like where at the end i had this time where i could meditate and i
00:27:11 ►
asked how can i best help others and it said i could audibly hear it from the left side um
00:27:17 ►
and the you know all the visuals were over and it was also something i’d read about that i could
00:27:23 ►
meditate at the end and then um i heard you already know and I was like no I don’t I wouldn’t ask that question
00:27:29 ►
it’s like a magic eight ball so I asked again and then it said the universe will make it happen
00:27:36 ►
and that was literally the words that came to my head I don’t know where it came from honestly
00:27:41 ►
because I don’t think I would have asked myself that question again. But it was very clear when it said the universe will make it happen. And that
00:27:49 ►
part about integration, I think, yeah. I just took on a major project, the aftercare project,
00:27:58 ►
after I had a degree. But it was needed. And what’s cool is organically, these people have come together to help with the project, like Michelle here.
00:28:12 ►
And there’s more happening from that. The community is starting to take note and, you know, the researchers focusing, you know, it’s so much fun to focus on all the benefits and then I’m the wet blanket the whole time
00:28:27 ►
about the, you know, the safety. But what I had seen there
00:28:31 ►
on the Amazon was just that it’s a simple lack of communication and education
00:28:36 ►
and I felt like it was something that we could, let’s just fix that.
00:28:39 ►
And then we can save the, you know, the reputation of the plant and the research
00:28:43 ►
and everything. And the plant and the research and everything.
00:28:47 ►
And the safety and, yeah.
00:28:48 ►
I thought it was that simple.
00:28:54 ►
And then I got into the thesis and I realized, you know, we’re all wired a little bit differently, yes. And then different metabolisms.
00:28:56 ►
But also I got into research, learning about what’s in the community.
00:29:01 ►
And that there are places where you can go to, you know, get further understanding about get further understanding about your pre-screening is what they call it if
00:29:10 ►
you might your chances of having any sort of really difficult challenges down
00:29:15 ►
there but and then just yeah the communities coming together to help
00:29:20 ►
people to integrate these powerful experiences and their life-changing experiences a lot of times.
00:29:27 ►
Even whenever someone doesn’t experience vision,
00:29:29 ►
it’s upsetting.
00:29:31 ►
It makes people feel like they’re not,
00:29:34 ►
they feel rejected, I guess, in a way.
00:29:36 ►
Like, mother ayahuasca,
00:29:38 ►
you didn’t want to give that to me.
00:29:39 ►
And maybe they don’t understand just the chemistry
00:29:41 ►
or they have to do it, you know, maybe again.
00:29:44 ►
And then your body will be ready like cleanse or but yeah if anybody has any safety questions around ayahuasca
00:29:52 ►
i’m always happy to help there if there’s anything i can answer i’d love to to help with that and
00:29:59 ►
if there’s anything i can’t i can always ask you know a large group of researchers that are
00:30:04 ►
and we’re
00:30:05 ►
definitely, we’re all learning together on this journey, this grand journey that is this life,
00:30:10 ►
so, yeah, anybody reach out to me anytime if you’re considering any sort of psychedelic, really,
00:30:19 ►
and then I’ll put you in touch with someone that would be the right person, And that’s what it’s all about, really, is community in the universe.
00:30:27 ►
Yes, coming together to make it happen.
00:30:40 ►
I had a near-death experience at the birth of this lovely being,
00:30:45 ►
which took me out, and since that time,
00:30:47 ►
my life has been a stripping of identity.
00:30:51 ►
And that’s a painful process,
00:30:53 ►
and a beautiful process at the same time.
00:30:56 ►
And some of the steps took a lot of courage,
00:30:58 ►
but they always show up at my doorstep,
00:31:01 ►
right when I need them.
00:31:02 ►
So the use of substances has never been something I sought,
00:31:06 ►
but would come almost like this.
00:31:09 ►
I’d meet someone and it unfolds.
00:31:12 ►
So the last six years have been challenging
00:31:15 ►
of trying to create a new life
00:31:19 ►
and how to survive with money and everything.
00:31:22 ►
And so it took a lot of courage.
00:31:24 ►
And I have, my community is spread out.
00:31:27 ►
So I have like a person in Seattle and a friend in Kona and a friend in Boston.
00:31:32 ►
So one of them suggested that I try something easy to obtain, which was salvia.
00:31:40 ►
So I got it on my own at the little store up on Rivers Avenue.
00:31:44 ►
And they said, you know, it’d be great to have somebody sit with you,
00:31:48 ►
but they said you’re a very grounded person, so I think you can do it alone.
00:31:53 ►
So I tried it once, and I’m not very good at inhaling or anything,
00:31:57 ►
so I felt like I just had a teeny tiny little trip,
00:32:00 ►
and it was lovely and interesting and colorful and supportive.
00:32:05 ►
I was in three places at one time, and it lasted about four minutes,
00:32:11 ►
but I was in the kitchen at the same time I knew I was here
00:32:14 ►
and I was having a conversation, and I was very aware of all three fully.
00:32:19 ►
So I got confident, and I tried it again alone,
00:32:24 ►
So I got confident, and I tried it again alone.
00:32:33 ►
And I went out, just one tiny puff, and I was way out.
00:32:37 ►
And it wasn’t supportive like it felt before.
00:32:44 ►
I was like in a stadium that represented the world here.
00:32:47 ►
And I was up on the stage with these beings that were probably about 20 feet tall,
00:32:49 ►
and they were dark.
00:32:51 ►
They looked like the people who do carnival,
00:32:54 ►
like in the islands.
00:32:56 ►
And at first it seemed jovial and fun,
00:32:58 ►
and so the masses were all out there,
00:33:00 ►
and they were telling me about the show
00:33:02 ►
they were putting on for the masses.
00:33:04 ►
And it was funny,
00:33:11 ►
but then I realized it wasn’t it was sinister and so i tried to escape and they started laughing and laughing that i thought i could escape and so i went up to each level in the
00:33:16 ►
stadium and as soon as i would hit that level i don’t know if anybody’s done salvia every time
00:33:20 ►
it’s very auditory i could hear the doors slamming and it was metal and steel
00:33:25 ►
and I couldn’t get through
00:33:27 ►
so I’d run up to the next level
00:33:29 ►
and it would shut
00:33:30 ►
and the beams were getting smaller and smaller
00:33:33 ►
and they were laughing and they were showing me
00:33:35 ►
that there is infinity
00:33:37 ►
and there is no end
00:33:38 ►
and the reason they were laughing is they said
00:33:41 ►
we have you trapped here, we have everyone trapped here
00:33:43 ►
what was frightening about it is that I felt like I couldn’t come back And they were laughing as they said, we have you trapped here. We have everyone trapped here.
00:33:48 ►
What was frightening about it is that I felt like I couldn’t come back and I couldn’t get out of it.
00:33:50 ►
And it wasn’t a long time.
00:33:51 ►
It was very, very spooky.
00:33:53 ►
But I was holding on to the countertop when I came back out,
00:33:57 ►
just begging to come back to my little life.
00:34:00 ►
But it felt bad even when I came back to my little life
00:34:03 ►
because it felt like life was a bit hopeless.
00:34:05 ►
That is not my outlook at all.
00:34:08 ►
So I was visited by emotions that I have never personally experienced,
00:34:13 ►
and it stayed with me for a little while,
00:34:17 ►
a couple of weeks maybe, where it would revisit,
00:34:19 ►
and I would almost get a taste in my mouth and the sound
00:34:22 ►
and this feeling that humans are trapped and they don’t
00:34:27 ►
know it and it’s just a show they’re watching um so it was a challenging time of my life so i
00:34:34 ►
thought that was interesting and i almost felt like had i tapped into something else that wasn’t
00:34:39 ►
mine that this is not like me at all and I got a glimpse of how desperate that could feel
00:34:46 ►
to think that there is no hope
00:34:47 ►
and that it’s just a recycling of souls trapped.
00:34:54 ►
So that’s one experience that I’ve had
00:34:57 ►
that hasn’t been fully integrated, I don’t think,
00:34:59 ►
but it was interesting.
00:35:02 ►
So I haven’t had any experiences since then.
00:35:01 ►
it was interesting.
00:35:04 ►
So I haven’t had any experiences since then.
00:35:07 ►
But I just wanted to throw that one out there.
00:35:10 ►
I don’t have any nice little bow to wrap it up with.
00:35:22 ►
I’m not really an outgoing
00:35:24 ►
person. I kind of grew up in a very, you know, sheltered kind of lifestyle.
00:35:28 ►
I didn’t get to see a lot of what the world was.
00:35:35 ►
I didn’t even really know what a party was until I got to college.
00:35:40 ►
I was not allowed out of my house for fear of me accidentally getting my hands on alcohol.
00:35:44 ►
I was not allowed out of my house for fear of me accidentally getting my hands on alcohol.
00:35:54 ►
So I guess I would say that I’m more of a pragmatic kind of person.
00:36:03 ►
I used to never really think of the world in any kind of spiritual sense or any kind of religious sense.
00:36:08 ►
I really saw things as, you know, what you see is what you get.
00:36:10 ►
That’s all you’re going to get, you know?
00:36:16 ►
It wasn’t until I started, you know, branching out on my own,
00:36:18 ►
I had a lot of questions growing up. I suffered a lot from anxiety and depression growing up.
00:36:24 ►
And I didn’t really know what it was you
00:36:26 ►
know I I’d always kind of had it for as long as I could remember and really the
00:36:34 ►
only advice that I could get from anyone I knew was well that’s just the way life
00:36:38 ►
is it’s hard it’s emotionally just one turmoil, and you just have to kind of live with it.
00:36:46 ►
You have to just suck up and take it, you know, whatever it is. And so it made me really
00:36:53 ►
think about, well, what’s the point in all of that? Is it to just sit here in anguish,
00:37:01 ►
in pain, until we roll over and fall into a grave.
00:37:07 ►
So I started, you know, trying to branch out and figure out what all this is
00:37:12 ►
and will I always be in this state of mind?
00:37:17 ►
Will I always be in this almost conflict at all times,
00:37:23 ►
trying to break out of this box of being you know almost
00:37:30 ►
felt like being was being trapped it was being in some kind of sick circus game
00:37:38 ►
when I finally moved out of you know my, my house, you know, with my parents and my family, I
00:37:47 ►
fell into a deeper depression. I felt like there was nothing, there was nothing left.
00:37:54 ►
There was no one to go to, there was no one to hold on to. Every therapist gave me these
00:37:59 ►
kinds of ideas of, you know, finding something in life,
00:38:05 ►
go take a bike ride, go look at trees,
00:38:10 ►
go try theater, go try to express yourself through poetry,
00:38:14 ►
and none of it said anything to me.
00:38:17 ►
Nothing grabbed me, nothing told me or showed me anything.
00:38:23 ►
So I decided that I wanted to do something, anything.
00:38:27 ►
I couldn’t live in that kind of emotional state anymore.
00:38:33 ►
So I decided that I would go and talk to some friends and find out what they’ve done.
00:38:39 ►
Some people turned me on to different kinds of psychedelics.
00:38:44 ►
A friend of mine had introduced me to marijuana,
00:38:47 ►
and that’s the biggest thing that I tried my entire life.
00:38:51 ►
And I know most people here would say,
00:38:53 ►
oh, well, that’s just marijuana.
00:38:55 ►
It’s very benign.
00:38:56 ►
And that really shook me to my core.
00:39:01 ►
But it wasn’t…
00:39:03 ►
It just kind of opened the lid
00:39:05 ►
to that other world
00:39:09 ►
that I think we’ve all seen
00:39:10 ►
so I decided I’d journey a little bit further
00:39:14 ►
and a couple years ago I decided that I wanted to
00:39:18 ►
try psilocybin
00:39:19 ►
I’d read a couple articles and there was a lot of research
00:39:24 ►
coming out saying that he had these magnificent effects on depression and on anxiety.
00:39:31 ►
And so I thought I’d give it a shot.
00:39:33 ►
I’d be willing to give anything a shot.
00:39:38 ►
Little did I know that it’s hard to come by.
00:39:40 ►
There’s not a lot of people who have it.
00:39:49 ►
there’s not a lot of people who have it. So I started doing my research, found out that psilocybin spores are completely legal in the US. You can buy them online
00:39:56 ►
completely legally. It is okay for microscopy purposes to obtain psilocybin spores.
00:40:05 ►
So I purchased some psilocybin spores along with
00:40:09 ►
some rye grain,
00:40:13 ►
inoculated that rye grain, and I don’t know if any of you have ever grown
00:40:17 ►
psilocybin mushrooms, but to actually watch them grow
00:40:20 ►
is kind of a magical experience. To see that mycelium sprout out and really just grow and take over the medium that it’s trying to colonize.
00:40:36 ►
After a couple months, I really let it colonize and watch those mushrooms fruit.
00:40:42 ►
And from that jar of rye grain,
00:40:46 ►
I picked psilocybin mushrooms.
00:40:49 ►
I’d never taken them before,
00:40:51 ►
didn’t know what I was getting into,
00:40:53 ►
and knew from some of my trips with marijuana
00:41:00 ►
that I just can’t do it around other people.
00:41:03 ►
I get very much engrossed in the emotions and
00:41:08 ►
the thoughts of other people as I’m doing it. So I picked them, took myself to North Carolina,
00:41:16 ►
where I knew some people who could lend me a cabin that I could stay in, and took and i remember distinctly because i had a scale with me um 5.65 grams
00:41:29 ►
of psilocybin um because i knew i mean i’d done research and a lot of people said you better take
00:41:38 ►
enough because if you don’t take enough you’re not going to get it so i said all right I’m gonna make sure I take enough I took that 5.65 grams and it showed
00:41:49 ►
me things that I never will see again it was again I was a very pragmatic person before I came to
00:42:00 ►
these substances and you could have told me day in and day out
00:42:06 ►
you’re going to see
00:42:08 ►
the heavens, you’re going to see
00:42:09 ►
the aliens from the Palladians,
00:42:12 ►
you’re going to see
00:42:13 ►
things that you’ll
00:42:16 ►
never see again. And I would have said, no,
00:42:18 ►
that just doesn’t happen.
00:42:20 ►
People who say that,
00:42:22 ►
they have no idea what they’re talking about.
00:42:23 ►
Until it happens to you.
00:42:26 ►
And it happened. It happened to me.
00:42:29 ►
And I saw…
00:42:31 ►
I saw…
00:42:35 ►
myself
00:42:36 ►
from a form that I couldn’t recognize.
00:42:42 ►
I saw myself in
00:42:44 ►
complete shambles.
00:42:46 ►
I saw myself as a child.
00:42:48 ►
I saw myself as an animal.
00:42:50 ►
I saw myself as an alien.
00:42:52 ►
I’ve seen myself in so many different things
00:42:54 ►
that it was hard to put back into words.
00:42:58 ►
And it was from that experience
00:43:00 ►
that I was able to come back to this world
00:43:04 ►
and really feel okay with everything
00:43:07 ►
again. That, oh, emotional turmoil? Oh, that’s fine. That’s nothing compared to having some
00:43:19 ►
sort of mantoid contact you through weird antennas coming coming through your head it’s fine so
00:43:29 ►
from then I have not felt depression I’ve felt more free than I’ve ever felt
00:43:39 ►
if I hadn’t taken those you would not see me standing up here talking to you about this.
00:43:55 ►
I wouldn’t have the courage to come out and say that this really did transform who I was.
00:44:02 ►
There was the time before I had taken them, and now the time after. And everything that was in between was…
00:44:05 ►
I don’t know. You’re never going to find it.
00:44:08 ►
I know I’m not going to, so…
00:44:11 ►
That’s it.
00:44:11 ►
Thank you. You’re listening to The Psychedelic Salon
00:44:34 ►
where people are changing their lives
00:44:36 ►
one thought at a time
00:44:37 ►
And I guess I should say that
00:44:42 ►
well, that’s not quite it
00:44:43 ►
because I have a couple of songs that I’d like to play for you before we leave today.
00:44:48 ►
It’s really a happy coincidence that this was a short program today,
00:44:53 ►
because just before I started putting it together,
00:44:55 ►
I’d gotten off on a kick where I was listening to some of Phil Oakes’ music,
00:45:00 ►
and at about the same time, I received a CD from Tom Radwick,
00:45:05 ►
who is one of our fellow salonners, and who, along with Mark Thiebaud,
00:45:10 ►
comprises the musical group known as the Imperfectionists,
00:45:14 ►
and I’ll put a link to their website in today’s program notes,
00:45:17 ►
which you’ll find at psychedelicsalon.com.
00:45:19 ►
Anyway, I put their new CD on, and the first song that they played
00:45:23 ►
seemed to hit the same groove as did the Phil Oakes songs that I’d been listening to.
00:45:28 ►
Now, if you aren’t familiar with Phil Oakes, well, that’s probably because you weren’t around during the protest against the American War in Vietnam.
00:45:36 ►
Back in those days, Phil Oakes was, well, he was about as popular and on the same level as Bob Dylan was back then.
00:45:43 ►
They were both singer-songwriters, and they both wrote in-your-face protest songs.
00:45:48 ►
Some of my favorite Phil Oakes songs include
00:45:50 ►
Tape from California, Flower Lady, and The Draft Dodger Rag.
00:45:56 ►
Also, he sang one of my real favorites,
00:45:58 ►
I Ain’t Marchin’ Anymore,
00:45:59 ►
and I’m going to play that for you here.
00:46:02 ►
But first, I’m going to play Homeland by The Imperfectionists,
00:46:05 ►
and I’ll follow it with I Ain’t Marchin’ Anymore.
00:46:08 ►
I suspect that both of these tunes are going to give you a lot to think about
00:46:12 ►
until next week when I’ll begin a new Terrence McKenna series.
00:46:17 ►
Come together, don’t matter the weather,
00:46:22 ►
come and seek your truth
00:46:26 ►
We’re coming from a belted rust
00:46:37 ►
In our leaders we don’t trust
00:46:39 ►
Been battered and left in the dust
00:46:42 ►
Angry, not sure where to go.
00:46:46 ►
Build a wall at Mexico.
00:46:48 ►
Who gets locked up, I don’t know.
00:46:50 ►
Hope it won’t be me.
00:46:53 ►
Ooh.
00:46:55 ►
Ooh.
00:46:57 ►
Ooh.
00:46:59 ►
Hope it won’t be me.
00:47:01 ►
Home is where we place our bets.
00:47:03 ►
Home is where we pay our debts.
00:47:05 ►
Wonder if I have regrets
00:47:07 ►
cause I’m still not free. As we put our nation first
00:47:46 ►
How much blood will quench our thirst
00:47:48 ►
Could it go from bad to worse
00:47:50 ►
I have seen my brother try
00:47:54 ►
To soldier for his country’s lie
00:47:57 ►
Now I hear his widow cry
00:47:59 ►
Better safe than free
00:48:01 ►
Better safe than free. Ooh. Ooh.
00:48:06 ►
Ooh.
00:48:09 ►
Better safe than free.
00:48:14 ►
I don’t claim to understand what it takes to run our land.
00:48:16 ►
We’ve got a man with his master plan.
00:48:18 ►
How did this come to be?
00:48:59 ►
How will we learn to see what it means to be free I’ll do for you now, you nice people here, a protest song.
00:49:06 ►
A protest song is defined as something, a song you don’t hear on the radio.
00:49:14 ►
And they’ll say you don’t hear it on the radio because the guy can’t sing it,
00:49:19 ►
because the words are no good, or because they play the shit that they play these days.
00:49:33 ►
But it’s all got to do with the process all around the Western Trail, and that includes England and France and Canada and America. They have the media syndrome where they control everybody’s mind by the use of fairly mindless and mind-distorting distortions of the facts,
00:49:46 ►
which led all of us into the Vietnamese War
00:49:48 ►
and led all of us into the Kennedy assassination.
00:49:54 ►
So what can you do?
00:49:56 ►
I mean, here you are, a helpless soul, a helpless piece of flesh,
00:49:59 ►
amid all this cruel, cruel machinery and terrible, heartless men.
00:50:07 ►
So all you can do is turn away from the filth
00:50:10 ►
and hopefully start to build something new someday.
00:50:13 ►
And it affects all of us.
00:50:14 ►
It affects the people here, too.
00:50:17 ►
So here’s a turning away song. Oh, I marched to the Battle of New Orleans
00:50:40 ►
At the end of the early British War
00:50:43 ►
Young land started growing
00:50:47 ►
Young blood started flowing
00:50:49 ►
But I ain’t marching anymore
00:50:52 ►
For I killed the share of engines
00:50:56 ►
In a thousand different fights
00:50:58 ►
I was there at the little big farm
00:51:01 ►
I heard many men lying
00:51:04 ►
I saw many more dying, I saw many more
00:51:06 ►
dying, but I
00:51:08 ►
ain’t marching anymore
00:51:09 ►
It’s always
00:51:12 ►
the old
00:51:13 ►
to lead us to the wars
00:51:15 ►
It’s always the young
00:51:18 ►
to fall
00:51:19 ►
Now look at all we’ve won
00:51:22 ►
with the sabers and the guns
00:51:24 ►
Tell me is it worth it at all?
00:51:29 ►
For I stole California from the Mexican land
00:51:33 ►
Fought in the bloody Civil War
00:51:36 ►
Yes, I even killed my brothers
00:51:40 ►
So many others
00:51:42 ►
But I ain’t marching anymore
00:51:45 ►
For I marched to the battles of the German trench
00:51:52 ►
In a war that was bound to end all wars
00:51:56 ►
Oh, I must have killed a million men
00:51:59 ►
And now they want me back again
00:52:02 ►
But I ain’t marching anymore
00:52:05 ►
It’s always the old to lead us to the war
00:52:10 ►
It’s always the young to fall
00:52:15 ►
Now look at all we’ve won with the saber and the gun
00:52:20 ►
Tell me is it worth it all?
00:52:23 ►
Tell me is it perfect or For I flew the final mission in the Japanese sky
00:52:31 ►
Set off the mighty mushroom roar
00:52:34 ►
When I saw the cities burning
00:52:37 ►
I knew that I was learning
00:52:40 ►
And I ain’t marching anymore
00:52:43 ►
Now the labor leaders screaming
00:52:48 ►
When they close the missile plant
00:52:50 ►
United Fruit screams at the Cuban shore
00:52:54 ►
Call it peace or call it treason
00:52:58 ►
Call it love or call it reason
00:53:01 ►
But I ain’t marching anymore
00:53:04 ►
I ain’t marching anymore.
00:53:08 ►
I ain’t marching anymore.
00:53:24 ►
And for now, this is Lorenzo signing off from Cyberdelic Space.
00:53:26 ►
Be well, my friends.